27 Life Lessons I Learned in 27 Years
As I approach my thirties, I smile back at the moments I experienced and endured. Not all of those were something to write home about, but even the smallest of lessons truly changed my perspective and how I navigate the world. I spent the past couple of months reflecting on what I’ve learned and wanted to share this with anyone who may gain from hearing my story.
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As a January birthday babe, I’d like to start this new year celebrating my growth by making this list of life lessons I’ve learned. None are in a particular order of value. These may not be the most typical life lessons, but reflect how I truly feel at this time in my life.
I don’t have to achieve what others expect from me, ever. I can take my time finding my purpose and cultivate a space for my passions.
Embracing my natural physical features is a form of self love and resistance to beauty standards. I am beautiful and valid, regardless of how I may feel.
Success isn’t linear. It’s okay to start over and not know my 5, 10, or 20 year plan. It’s okay to take it slow and take a break. Restarting my journey at any point of time does not equate to failure.
I can openly be my authentic self without shame. I’m allowed to make my own happiness and take time to heal from past traumas.
BOUNDARIES. BOUNDARIES. BOUNDARIES. Letting others know how I’d like to engage with them and my own limits, furthers healthy communication and closeness.
Restricting myself with dieting won’t solve any of my problems. I chuckle at this because I spent a good portion of my early twenties striving for the perfect plant based lifestyle. I learned that’s it’s not for everyone, it’s not easily accessible around the world, and any form of reducing also has a positive impact.
Friendships come and go. It’s completely normal for some to ride out and pass. Just like a chapter to a book. Sometimes you outgrow each other and move forward.
Despite how toxic some people were to me growing up, I too have toxic traits to unpack that I picked up along the way. Hurt people, hurt people. It’s important to acknowledge that and take action to improve at any age.
Some people may not care about who I am and how I live my life. What people think of me, does not and will never, define my self worth. Cutting off relations that make me feel unsafe is beneficial to my wellbeing.
Always be teachable. I don’t know everything but I can be open to learning more about others experiences. Narrow-mindedness stunts personal growth.
Checking my privilege in spaces I share with others is important. Listening to the voices of communities that are often silenced and of my own, has taught me how much we can all learn from each other.
Uncertainty in my life has been a difficult feeling to overcome. Welcoming the unknown and the depth of opportunities it comes with has allowed me to have more trust in the future and myself. Less planning, more doing.
Prioritize rest. Yes, more naps and more intentional early nights. This has helped me regulate my mood and honor my limits as a human being.
Bi-erasure is real. I’ve noticed that even more so after getting married. My bisexuality is valid and remains true to me regardless of society’s cis-heteronormative culture. I’m grateful for having a loving partner who accepts me for all that I am.
I can’t change people, nor should I. If they want to change, they will.
Forgiving others brings me peace. I don’t have to agree with what someone may have done, but I can let that sh!t go for my own mental health and walk away.
Saying “No” is okay. I don’t have to people please just “because.” No is no. No matter what the relation is, whether that be familial, work, romantic, or platonic.
Allowing myself to be soft, emotional, and feminine is not a form of weakness. Took me a long to time to let myself be vulnerable because I’ve always been seen as “that person that has it all together” or “ she’s tough, she can handle anything.”
Children do not exist to make parents and/or guardians happy. Nor are they born expected to serve their parents. They can if they want to, but they must be given the chance to choose this on their own. This family structure cycle is unhealthy and takes away peoples autonomy growing up. As much as I love making my family and loved ones proud of me, that is not my sole purpose. I can create my own way of living. I’m grateful to have loved ones that respect my autonomy.
Depression doesn’t look a certain way, nor will it disappear with “thinking happy thoughts.” Just because I don’t talk about what I may go through doesn’t diminish my experiences. Despite how it may be perceived, mental health awareness and healing is the future. Accepting what I go through and reaching out for help when some did not believe in me was the most important thing I’ve done for myself.
My inner dialogue is more powerful than I give it credit for. Positive self talk is self care.
HYDRATION IS KEY. Most effective skincare in my opinion. More time drinking water and minding my own business is my type of energy.
All work, is work. Whether that’s unpaid or paid work. If it doesn’t bring in that coin, it doesn’t lessen the inherent value it brings forth into your life. The amount of money one makes does not determine their value, capability, or success.
Comparing my journey with others is not it. Some may hide their losses and only share their successes. It’s easy to get fooled into thinking others have perfect lives and thinking yours has to look the same. I practice appreciation of others successes regardless of where I am in my journey.
Sharing my experiences and creative passions matter, even if I think someone else could do it better.
Having community support is also part of self care. We can’t take care of ourselves on our own. Finding a group of people who are unconditionally accepting and open minded is my goal for the next decade.
Everyone has their own struggles. So acknowledging that and asking others if they have the mental space to actively listen to what I’m going through is something I practice more often. Taking into account how emotional labor affects people in turn benefits everyone involved and respects their time and mental wellbeing.
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Thank you for reading this. I hope to look back at these lessons as my future self and see how much I’ve grown over time. I’m ready to experience this new year, no matter the obstacles I may face. Wishing you all a healing and opportunistic year!
Comment below a lesson you’ve learned in your lifetime. Which one above relates to your experience and why? I’d love to hear your stories!
Love, Bree
